How do I handle defiance without yelling?

The AAP discourages yelling, shaming, and spanking, as these may stop behavior temporarily but increase stress and defiance long-term. Instead, validate the emotion while holding the boundary: 'I see you're angry, but hitting is not okay.' Offer limited choices to give your toddler a sense of control: 'Do you want to put on shoes or your coat first?' Use natural consequences where safe to do so. Consult your pediatrician if defiance is extreme or persistent.